This story is about a woman who could not break biases for herself BUT enabled me to break every social bias which came my way…
1. LETTING ME AIM AT DIFFERENT
˗ I come from a family where decisions on girl education were like this ‘teacher is the ONLY aspiration you can pursue or ‘If I spent $x for her medical studies; shouldn’t I find a rich boy and marry her – in India father’s pay for daughter’s marriage (and dowry) or STEM education requires high intellect and girls don’t do that…
2. SUPPORTING MY EDUCATION WITH BOYS (only)
˗ When I took mechanical engineering, our relatives learned that I am going to be studying with BOYS only. All pounded upon my father to influence and reverse my decision, EXCEPT this woman
3. PRIORITIZING MY GROWTH OVER FAMILY SAVINGS
˗ During my MBA, there was a point when I had to choose between an internship (income of ~$2k-4k) and a foreign exchange (an expense of $10k) in the US; I was leaning towards an internship because I wanted to make money and recover the expense. She (and my friend Arjun Khurana) advised me to think differently and that experience indeed broadened my horizon of thinking by multi-folds
4. STANDING WITH ME ON MY CAREER CHOICES WHICH EVEN DRAGGED HER INTO TOUGH SOCIAL DISCUSSIONS
˗ I chose to consult and I served for 6 years which meant 2-4 flights every week, 4 nights every week in a hotel (in different cities/countries); she had to answer pretty much everyone…’ how can you allow a daughter to do this – not coming back home was an unacceptable rule for girls at any cost
5. NOT DEMEANING MY DECISION FOR BEING SINGLE AT 35
˗ This one is the toughest one and I know hundreds of stories where not only fellow females but also males are pressurized to get into relationships even if they haven’t found someone because it raises questions about family, status, and whatnot. Believe me, I am still asked by many – does your mom not pressurize you to get settled? No, she does not…and it ends like ‘how fortunate you are…’
This all was because she was dragged into many life situations she never had signed up for. Once she told me (& my siblings) that I do not wish anyone a life I had to lead and she truly lived up to it in my experience even if it required her to break her own biases & barriers
She is my MOTHER – the most unsung hero of my life to whom I will be forever indebted.
Towards a gender-forward world…
PS: Picture from my teens and our trip before my move to Switzerland
#breakthebias #iwd2022 #yesshecan #inclusionmatters #mother
